In all of the one-to-one work that I do with my private coaching clients - no matter what changes they want to make, no matter what goals or success they want to achieve - the one piece of work I almost always HAVE to complete with them is the work around Self Love, Self-Acceptance & Inner Child Healing. Because without it, it is almost impossible to live a healthy, happy and authentic life. Instead they start to feel lost, stuck, restless, dissatisfied; they start to sabotage their dreams and happiness, they make excuses so as not to move forward; it affects their confidence, motivation, their emotional wellbeing and health, their relationships, the success they allow themselves to experience in their work/businesses. In fact, the absence of self-love and acceptance can sometimes affect EVERY aspect of their lives at one point or another. The only way to “get over it”... is to WORK THROUGH IT!
In this blog, I will introduce 5 KEYS to Nurturing Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Inner Child Healing. But first what do all these hippy-dippy sounding terms even mean?
What is Self-Love & Acceptance?
Self-love is a commitment to developing a deep sense of affection and appreciation for who we are. It goes beyond self-care activities like getting our hair and nails done or buying some new clothes to perk us up. It’s about what we think and feel about ourselves, and what we tell ourselves about ourselves. It involves recognizing our worth, prioritising our well-being, setting healthy boundaries, and nourishing our mind, body, and spirit. It is a continuous process of choosing self-compassion over self-criticism, acknowledging personal achievements, and embracing the journey of growth with a kind, loving heart.
Self-Acceptance is the cornerstone of personal transformation. It involves embracing all aspects of our identity, including the shadows and imperfections that make each person uniquely human. It requires us to release the shackles of self-judgment and societal expectations and adopt a mindset which allows our authentic self to thrive – it’s about being ok with who we are just as we are. Through self-acceptance, we not only acknowledge our strengths but also befriend our vulnerabilities, allowing for a deeper more profound connection with ourselves, as well as with others.
The Inner Child is the version of us that absorbed all the experiences, ideas, feelings, and beliefs during our early years/childhood - about who we are, our worth, what we are capable of, and how the world works. On an emotional level we carry that younger version of us deep inside of our consciousness wherever we go, affecting the grown-up version of us in ways we might not even realize.
The Inner Child has many unique gifts which we can benefit from – it feels everything super intensely, it believes in magic, it is the creative, curious, most free-spirited part of us that is hungry to learn and explore. However, when triggered, it is also the most insecure and vulnerable part of who we are. It connects with us through our emotions – worry, anger, fear, sadness – calling for us to provide it with understanding, patience, kindness, compassion, and the unconditional love, care and nurture it needs. For those who never received the love and care they needed in childhood, the need for re-parenting the Inner Child becomes more urgent. Because nobody can live a healthy, happy, and authentic life and still carry the emotional wounds and scars of their past.
So now that we’ve explored what Self-Love, Self- Acceptance and the Inner Child are, what are the 5 Key steps needed to nurture these aspects of us?
Key 1: Recognize and Celebrate Your Unique Light
The first key is to recognize and celebrate the unique combination of gifts and positive attributes that you embody. Step into the light of your authentic self. Often, we downplay our strengths and focus on our perceived shortcomings. Take a moment to acknowledge your achievements, talents, and the positive impact you've had on others. Embracing your uniqueness is the foundation for building a strong sense of self-love.
Key 2: Befriend Your Shadows with Acceptance and Compassion
We all have aspects of ourselves that we judge, criticize, deny, and reject – our shadows. Key 2 encourages us to develop acceptance, compassion, and appreciation for these darker corners of our being. By befriending our shadows, we integrate these aspects into our whole self, instead of keeping them disconnected and allowing them to turn up uninvited. This process allows us to break free from self-imposed limitations and fosters a deeper level of self-acceptance.
Key 3: Upgrade Your Limiting Self-Beliefs
The third key involves stepping into a process of transformation by changing limiting self-beliefs and letting go of self-sabotaging behaviours. It's time to upgrade the knackered old program that no longer serves you. Challenge negative thought patterns, replace self-doubt with self-empowerment, and embrace a mindset that supports your growth and well-being. This key unlocks the door to personal evolution and positive change.
Key 4: Cultivate Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is a powerful act of compassion towards oneself. Key 4 encourages us to learn, repair, and let go of the weight of guilt and shame. Understand that mistakes are opportunities for growth, and forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. By releasing self-judgment and embracing self-forgiveness, you create space for healing and emotional freedom.
Key 5: Heal the Wounds of the Past for a New Future
The final key invites us to embark on a journey of healing the wounds of the past – unresolved pain, trauma, and loss. Emotional freedom and a new future await those who are willing to confront and heal the scars of the past. Seek support through therapy, transformational life coaching, journaling, meditation, somatic breathwork, or any modality that resonates with you. By addressing the roots of emotional pain, you pave the way for inner peace and the emotional freedom needed to create a life and future you can love and be proud of.
Nurturing self-love, self-acceptance, and inner child healing is a transformative journey. By embracing these five keys, you embark on a path of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment.
What Next?
If you would like to explore and work through the 5 Keys, contact me directly and request a FREE Online Consultation to explore if Transformational Life Coaching is the right pathway for you.
For those of you living in or near Hertfordshire, I will be running a powerful all-day immersive retreat in February 2024 at the Wise Lotus Centre to take 16 individuals on a journey of learning, healing and transformation as we work through the 5 Keys together as a collective using a wide range of transformational tools and techniques including: reflective journaling, guided meditation, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Timeline Therapy and Reiki Energy healing courtesy of DC Therapies.
Remember, you are deserving of love and acceptance, and by investing in yourself, you create a ripple effect that positively influences every aspect of your life as well as the lives of the people around you. When we heal ourselves we heal a generation and we leave the world in a better state than we found it. The question is…are you ready to make the shift?
About Me:
My Name is Nichola, I am a Transformational Life Coach & Mindfulness Facilitator, a Psychology and Social Work graduate; I am based in Hertfordshire UK, but I coach men and women from all over the world - from Costa Rica to Dubai, from Singapore to Stevenage! My mission is to empower people to create a life they can love, the balance they need, and build the resilience needed to weather any storm. Follow me on Instagram to find out more about me @mindfullifecoachuk or head on over to my website to find out more!