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From Swipe to Soulmate: Find Your Perfect Match with Mindful Dating

Updated: Jul 25, 2023

Dating can be a fun and exciting experience…but it can also be stressful and friggin overwhelming! With so many options and swipes, and so much pressure to find "The One," it can be easy to get caught up in the dating game and lose sight of what's actually important. Mindful dating is an approach that emphasizes being present in the moment and connecting with others in a deeper way. Here are a few tips for how to practice mindful dating to get you started.

Couple Holding Hands Picture

Be Present

One of the most important things you can do when dating is to be present in the moment. This includes the following:

  • Showing up in the first place. This can be difficult for a number of reasons but physically committing to a date is the first step to meeting and connecting with someone new.

  • Putting your phone on silent and being fully engaged in the conversation.

  • Being aware your date's body language and nonverbal cues (e.g. their tone, eye contact, posture etc) and noticing how you feel in their presence.

  • Actively listening to what your date is telling you, and listening without judgment, for the sole purpose of understanding them better and gaging compatibility.

  • Setting aside your expectations and not getting too distracted by whether your date looks the way you imagined or not, and focus on getting to know the human being in front of you. If there is an attraction of the souls, physical attraction will often follow.

  • Be mindful about alcohol consumption both before and during the date, which can cloud thinking and make the most unsuitable date appear irresistible.

By being fully present with your time and attention, you'll be able to get to know your date on a deeper level and form a more authentic connection.

Be Open Minded

Another important aspect of mindful dating is being open-minded. This means being open to new people and experiences, and not having a set idea of who your "ideal" partner is. You may be attracted to certain physical characteristics or personality traits or have specific ideas about what the other person can offer you. But these things can often serve as obstacles to meeting and getting to know someone who falls outside the lines of what we think we want. Very often what we actually want and need from our romantic relationships is very different to what we think we want and need. There is no set formula for love and chemistry, it just is or it isn’t. So being open-minded will allow you to connect with people you may have never considered before, and may lead to unexpected and fulfilling relationships.

Be Authentic

Being authentic is essential to mindful dating. This means being honest about who you are and not pretending to be someone you're not. This begins with being honest with your photos if you are dating online; photos taken 10 years ago, photos of models, overuse of filters and obscure angles all scream Red Flags! Photos of you doing something you love always yield a better response.

Your authenticity should also be reflected in your profile write up, be honest about who you are, what you like, what you are looking for, and even what you will not entertain if you want to filter out people who are unsuitable. If you are serious about meeting someone you are a true match for, you need to be honest about who you are and what you want, which includes any kinks you may be into, as this can often be a deal breaker for people who've had no warning. Being authentic will help you attract a partner who is also authentic and a better match for you, and will lead to a more genuine and fulfilling relationship.

Take It Slow

Mindful dating when you first meet someone, means taking it slow and not rushing into anything; even if you have been single for a long time, even if you have been speaking/messaging each other for weeks/months/years on end and think you could be soulmates! Because you cannot really know someone until you physically interact with them. This means not rushing into physical intimacy or jumping into a serious relationship too quickly because it takes time to get to know someone properly. Rushing things will often cause overwhelm and a sense of regret; and fast-tracking gratification can take away some of the magic of getting to know someone at a more natural pace. By taking it slow, you'll be able to get to know your date and make sure that they're the right person for you.

Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care is an essential aspect of mindful dating. This means taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Dating can often bring up insecurities, whether it’s fear around meeting the other person’s expectations or being accepted for who and what we are, warts and all. If we are going to attract someone we find attractive, we owe it to them and ourselves, to be the absolute best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. It requires self-care, making good decisions which are aligned with our health and wellbeing, and being kind and compassionate towards ourselves. Working on our confidence and self-worth are KEY to getting ourselves ready for dating and a possible relationship. Investing in yourself is a direct investment in the relationship you want to attract. By taking care of yourself first, you'll be in a better position to attract a healthy and loving relationship.

Prioritise Your Safety

And last but not least, as fun as dating can be, it also carries a certain level of risk especially when meeting someone who is otherwise a stranger. Being mindful of our safety is essential to ensuring a more positive and stress-free experience. This includes:

  • Letting someone know where you are going and the name and contact details of the person you are meeting. At the very least leave a note with these details and leave it somewhere it can be easily found.

  • Checking in with someone you trust when you arrive on your date and when you get home.

  • Be mindful about where you meet your date - there may be an element of 'sexy riskiness' involved in inviting a stranger to your home, or meeting a stranger for the first time in their home, but it also carries a high level of risk that you may experience something you are unprepared for.

  • For more invaluable advice about keeping yourself safe whilst dating click HERE.

In conclusion, mindful dating is an approach that emphasizes being present in the moment, being open-minded, being authentic, taking it slow, practicing self-care and prioritising your safety. By following these tips, you'll be able to connect with others in a deeper way and increase your chances of finding a fulfilling and meaningful relationship. Remember to be patient and enjoy the journey, know that the right person will come into your life when the time is right and trust in the divine timing of your life.

If you are finding the dating world a minefield and you would like to explore how Transformational Life Coaching can help you build your confidence, let go of limiting beliefs/past experiences which may be holding you back, and start aligning your thoughts, feelings and actions with meeting your perfect match, I am currently running an 6 week online Life Coaching programme called 'Healing the Heart - Let Go of Past Relationships & Attract Your Soulmate'. To find our more click on the button below, and don't forget to subscribe to my website to receive 10% off your first session.

About Me:

My Name is Nichola Pyrkos, I am a Transformational Life Coach & Mindfulness Facilitator, a Psychology and Social Work graduate, and my mission is to empower people to consciously create a life they can love, whilst developing the resilience needed to weather any storm. Follow me on Instagram @mindfullifecoachuk and head on over to my website to find out about the range of services I offer, including bespoke Life Coaching programmes tailor-made for individual clients to fast-track their learning, healing and personal growth.

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