In my last blog I wrote about the Emotional Guidance System and being able to refer to David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness in understanding and navigating our emotions. For anyone who is interested, you can read more about this in his books ‘Power vs Force’ and ‘The Map of Consciousness Explained’. As promised here are a few simple and free ideas for those of us wanting to get out of an emotional rut and raise our energetic frequency:
1. Meditate (frequency of neutrality, acceptance):
Whether it is for a minute or an hour, whether it is guided or silent, meditation has a plethora of benefits for the mind and body including: lowering stress by lowering cortisol, lowering anxiety by loosening the connections of specific neural pathways in the brain, improves memory, promotes the immune system etc. It allows us time to pause, reflect and process. It improves our ability to access higher functioning parts of the brain, to develop a clearer perspective and identify less reactive solutions to issues when they arise. It also allows us to reduce the feeling of resistance to what we are experiencing, which is often the very thing that is causing us the most suffering.
2. Gratitude (frequency of acceptance, love, joy, peace):
Feeling gratitude is a skill. Many of us can identify things we are grateful for rationally but struggle to FEEL grateful to the point is lifts us up the energetic scale. Some people like to keep a gratitude journal, while others like to say out loud what they are thankful for. The more we focus our attention on gratitude, the more we will find to be grateful for. If we want to start really feeling gratitude, it often helps to put our hand on our hearts and focus our breathing and attention there when we think about what we are thankful for. Or we can focus on how it would feel if the thing we are grateful for didn’t exist….sometimes we can only fully appreciate something when we lose it.
3. Honour your emotions don’t ignore them (frequency of acceptance and love):
We need to take time and space at some point in our day to tap into our emotions, to become aware (see blog titled The Emotional Guidance System). Whether we meditate, write down our thoughts and feelings, speak to someone caring and trustworthy, give ourselves permission to punch a pillow, or have a good cry in the shower…giving ourselves permission to feel our emotions is a gift. Ignoring our emotions is a fast-track ticket to mental and physical health problems. To deny, suppress or reject our emotions is an act of self-rejection; these emotions will remain in the background of everything we do and haunt us with mental and physical ailments until we finally give them the time, space and attention they need to release and dissolve. If they stay trapped in the subconscious (the brain’s hard drive where everything is stored) they will create dis-ease in the mind and body until the mind and body start shutting down. Because sometimes this is the only way we will ever stop, wake up and become conscious of what we are doing to ourselves. So ‘feel the feels’ (as the kids say today) before you try and perk yourself up, even if its just for a minute…
4. Self-care and compassion (frequency of acceptance and love).
This is usually the price we pay when we are feeling low, so ensuring conscious steps are taken to provide ourselves with practical and emotional love and care is essential, even if it’s turning our phones/gadgets off for a while, or having some fruit and a nice long bath. Becoming aware of our self-talk and interrupting it when we notice it has become negative is one of the most powerful things we can do to shift our energetic frequency. We cannot feel better if we are bullying ourselves with thoughts of criticism and shame. We have to tell ourselves to STOP and focus our attention on something we appreciate about ourselves instead, to prevent negative thoughts spiralling out of control. It's always nice to hear something positive said about ourselves; the impact of such words are so much more powerful when they are spoken by us.
5. Kindness towards others (frequency of love and joy):
When we are caught up in our own problems, we can often lose perspective and focus on ourselves to narcissistic proportions. Showing kindness and compassion to others (even if it’s just a kind word, a smile or even a thought) not only benefits the person on the receiving end, but it can provide us with much needed perspective when we help someone going through their own difficulties in life. Because everyone is going through something! Helping others is good for the soul, and those who believe in Karma can expect their kindness to be repaid with interest in future. To be kind to others is to be kind to ourselves, for we are all but droplets in an ever expanding ocean. Lift others and you lift yourself!
6. Reconnecting with nature (frequency of neutrality, willingness, acceptance, love, joy)
Living and working in urban concrete jungles can often mean being disconnected from our natural environment, which is important to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. So whether it’s going for a walk in a park or woodland, partake in gardening, grounding, hiking, swimming or even sun-bathing, the benefits are endless!
7. Reconnecting with the body (frequency of neutrality, willingness, love and joy)
The body is not just a taxi for the head! The mind and body and emotions are all intricately interconnected through neural pathways and electrical impulses. So ignoring one aspect of our wellbeing will have a knock-on effect on the rest. Being mindful about what we eat, drink, consume (cigarettes, drugs and alcohol) and how it affects our mind/body/emotions; reviewing our sleep hygiene habits; ensuring the body gets some level of exercise daily, even if it's just walking; and paying attention to any pain or discomfort in the body is ESSENTIAL for the entire ecosystem to work optimally. Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Pilates and Mindfulness Body Scans are excellent ways to reconnect with the body, as well as any type of exercise, sport and dancing. Emotions are just Energy in Motion (e-motion) so if we want to change the way we feel we have to move our bodies and shift out energy!
8. Connecting with Creativity (frequency of neutrality, willingness, acceptance, love, joy)
Despite the fact that we are all taught a set curriculum at school from an early age, we are often encouraged to develop our own individual interests, hobbies and passions outside of this and for good reason. Tapping into our creative flow can be a joyful experience and provides opportunity to step outside the mundane day to day expectations of what we are meant to do; and gives us free reign to unleash our imaginations and manifest something new/different into the world. For many people this can be a welcome distraction. For others it’s how they connect to their soul (e.g. through art, writing, poetry, music, cooking, singing, dancing). Very often adult responsibilities in life can take over and our creativity can be pushed aside and forgotten about. Giving ourselves permission to reconnect with this aspect of ourselves is essential for our emotional wellbeing and sometimes is the only thing that can bring us out of the darkest of times.
9. Re-framing (frequency of reason, willingness, acceptance)
This is a common life coaching technique used to shift perspective and emotions connected to certain thoughts or negative events. Frames form part of the filtering systems we use to perceive things internally. Frames promote rigid thinking because they are based on what we think we already know and limit us in finding new ways to solve problems or perceive issues. Re-framing allows for changes to be made to our frames of reference, by finding a new meaning around a thought or event. Just because we think something doesn’t mean it’s true!
Re-framing involves out of the box thinking, which changes how we feel about something which then changes what we do. For example, if we believe that “every cloud has a silver lining” then we can take a negative event and turn it into a positive. If we can find something positive or at least identify a learning opportunity out of an undesirable event, we can shift how we think, feel and how we respond, which gives the event a whole new meaning. So when we next feeling unhappy about something, we can ask ourselves empowering questions like ‘what is this trying to teach me which is for my highest good?”; as opposed to falling into a victim mindset and allowing thoughts, feelings and behaviour to spiral further down.
10. Complementary and alternative therapies (frequency of neutrality, willingness, acceptance, love)
Whether it’s yoga, Pilates, qui-gong, tai-chi, meditation, acupuncture, tapping, music therapy, art therapy, aromatherapy, hydro or floatation therapy, massage, crystals, reiki, sound baths…whatever floats your boat; if it feels good and it allows your mind and body time to stop, relax, feel good or let go of shitty thoughts and feelings...then do it!
The number of activities which can help increase our energetic frequency and experience of emotions is ENDLESS. And being aware of what we personally prefer is CRUCIAL! What raises the energetic frequency of one person may not work so well for another.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT EXERCISE
1. Take 5mins to make a list of at least 20 things that you love, enjoy, make you feel good, look forward to….add to this list as and when you remember or discover new things. Let this become your go to list (you can name it whatever you want) when you find your emotions dipping low and you want to raise your energetic frequency and display it somewhere you can access easily e.g. on the refrigerator or on your phone.
2. Create a ‘Feel Good Box’ with items which make you feel good in terms of your 5 senses, or hold happy memories, or represent things you have to look forward to in the future; items you like to look at, smell, touch, listen to, taste (HINT: try to keep cigarettes, alcohol and drugs out of it!). You can include a favourite movie or music CD/album, photos, memorabilia of days and nights out, candles, a favourite perfume or aftershave; add your Vision Board if you have one, or make a collage of things you want to bring into your reality and include it in your Feel Good Box. Anything you appreciate. And open your box the next time you feel like you need an emotional lift, it will help you start to build momentum in moving up the emotional energetic frequency scale.
ABOUT ME:
My Name is Nichola Pyrkos, I am a Transformational Life Coach & Mindfulness Facilitator, a Psychology and Social Work graduate, and my mission is to empower people to consciously create a life they can love, whilst developing the resilience needed to weather any storm. Follow me on Instagram @mindfullifecoachuk and head on over to my website to find out about the range of services I offer, including bespoke Life Coaching programmes tailor-made for individual clients to fast-track their learning, healing and personal growth.
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