Updated: Nov 16
In the 21st century we are gripped by a number of global threats, least of all a mental health pandemic which has been circling like a vulture over the wellbeing of humanity for some time now. Thanks to the technological and artificial intelligence revolutions, we are now bombarded with more information and stimulation than we can possibly handle. We can do more and travel further in shorter periods of time than we’ve ever done before. Socially we have become superficially connected to thousands of people online, while disconnected physically from our closest friends and family in the real world. And we sadly live in a time when feelings and expressing emotion is still considered by many a weakness.
People are emotionally distant and disconnected from themselves and each other and have a fear of losing control of their emotions. Falling in love/emotional attachment for example, is ridiculed as ‘catching feelings’ - like catching a cold or disease and is something to be avoided. It is socially unacceptable to become angry or tearful in public without risk of losing respect and reputation. Emotional disconnection however comes at a price to humanity in the form of mental and emotional instability and psychosomatic symptoms at best, and full blown mental health and physical disability at worst.
According to Public Health England:
• 1 in 3 people in the UK of working age have a health condition
• 1 in 6 people will have experienced a mental health condition in any given week
• 1 in 10 people will have reported a musculoskeletal condition (physical aches and pain)
What many of us fail to realise, is that our emotions are not an annoying side effect of being human. Our emotions are in fact a COMPASS! As humans, most of us are blessed with a highly intelligent Emotional Guidance System, with minimal understanding of how to use it!
HOW DOES THE EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM WORK?
Emotions provide us with invaluable information about how aligned we are with the truth of who we are. When we live our lives in a way that doesn’t honour who we are at our core, what we want from this life and what we feel is important – in other words when we betray and reject our true selves – our emotions will let us know by creating discomfort and eventually pain, be it mental or physical. This can often spill over onto and impact the people around us; so even if we are not aware that we are out of alignment, the people around us often do because they feel discomfort when they are around us, absorbing our low energetic frequency and emotions. We are after all highly evolved, sensitive and empathic creatures!
On the other hand, when we are living our lives in a way that respects what is important to us, which brings us joy, fills us with love and gratitude; when we honour, respect and accept ourselves without condition…we know we are living in alignment with the truth of who we are because we FEEL IT!. We feel light, energised, healthy, balanced, grateful, empowered, connected. It shows physically in our facial expressions, posture, movement and actions. And others feel and are affected by our ‘good vibes’ too because they feel good just being around us, absorbing our higher energetic frequency.
Our emotions have the ability to help us navigate our way to a healthier happier life, if we could only learn how to use our inbuilt compass...
THE MAP OF CONSCIOUSNESS
One answer may lie with Professor David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness scale which identifies different emotional states and their corresponding energetic frequencies, with ‘shame’ at the lowest end of the scale and ‘enlightenment’ at the top end. The higher we move up the scale, the higher our energetic frequency or vibration, and vice versa. Why measure emotion in frequency? Because everything in the universe is after all made out of energy, including our emotions – energy in motion!
Our emotions alert us as to how aligned we are to our truth; when they create discomfort or resistance, they are letting us know that we need to shift our thinking and behaviour in a different direction in order to create a different emotional experience. So when we become aware of our emotions we must listen, respect and trust them, no matter how uncomfortable they may be to begin with, because they are letting us know what our starting point is and which direction we need to go. Only once we have become aware of our emotions and what they are signalling, should we begin the process of increasing our energetic frequency to move up the scale of consciousness.
Where most people get caught out when trying to change their emotional state, is that they want to make giant shifts instantly which is not always possible. That is because feeling better/raising our energetic frequency is a PROCESS which requires TIME and the SPACE for a shift to happen! This is when many people will turn to quick fixes like comfort eating, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, drugs etc, which can often make a bad situation worse. So what’s the alternative?
First we identify and allow ourselves to FEEL the emotion we are currently experiencing. We can then reflect and try to understand where the emotions may be coming from, what information they are trying to give us, and gage which direction they are guiding us towards; accepting and trusting emotions instead of ignoring them.
Only once our emotions are acknowledged and understood should we take steps to start moving up the scale one energetic frequency at a time. For example, if we were feeling angry we wouldn’t be expected to jump straight to joy; instead we may want to shift our thinking and actions up a level towards emotions like pride and courage. As long as we have started to increase our energetic frequency, we can create momentum so as to continue moving in the direction we want to go – up! But we need to learn to tap into our emotions in the here and now first!
FEELING INTO OUR EMOTIONS
There are nearly 8 billion people on this planet, we are all wired differently, so what works for one person will not necessarily work for another when it comes to tapping into our emotions. Some people like to listen to music, some people look at old photos, some people do an activity which allows their thoughts and feelings to come to the surface like art or running or immersing in nature. Below are a handful of suggestions for tapping into our emotions directly and consciously:
1. Meditation – when we struggle to fall asleep at night, this is often because bedtime is the only opportunity we have had all day to process our thoughts and feelings. Meditation is a conscious act of self-care and reflection. Giving ourselves the TIME and SPACE to observe our thoughts and feelings, allows us to tap into them during our waking hours and is especially helpful when we are feeling overwhelmed. Even just a minute of pausing and becoming aware of what we are experiencing can help us understand where we are in terms of our energetic frequency and what steps need to be taken in order to move up.
2. Journaling – having a place to dump all our thoughts and feelings for the sake of just getting them out of our bodies and onto paper or screen is therapeutic and invaluable. Journaling provides the TIME and SPACE to acknowledge and respect our personal thoughts and feelings, and is especially helpful when supportive friends and family are not available. Even if what we are writing about is ‘dark and twisted’ – getting it out of our heads and observing it in written form as words reduces the energetic intensity of the emotion, which helps build momentum to move up the energetic frequency scale.
3. Kind Ear – whether this comes from a partner, friend or family member, a colleague, a stranger, or is paid for through counselling or coaching or a professional, speaking to someone can often give us the TIME and SPACE we need to acknowledge and process how we feel and gage what we need to do to increase our energetic frequency. However…
WARNING: Ensuring we select the right person to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with is ESSENTIAL, otherwise it can be counter-productive and we can end up moving down the emotional frequency scale as a result. A kind ear should be:
1. Willing - do not dump on people who have not agreed to be dumped on as this can destroy relationships – ask permission first and be mindful in how often you use them in this way. Healthy relationships require healthy boundaries.
2. Non-judgemental - if the other person is often critical of themselves and others, they are unlikely to be critical of you. They can project judgement onto you and unintentionally make you feel worse.
3. Trust-worthy - if they often gossip about other people’s issues, they are more likely to gossip about yours. Ensure they understand how important your privacy is and be selective about how much you share with them.
Tapping into our emotions regularly is really the only way we can ensure we are ‘on the right track’ and honouring the truth of who we are. To deny, suppress or reject our emotions is how we get fast-tracked to mental and physical discomfort and pain. When we ignore the warning signs our emotions and bodies give us, we often end up unwell and needing medical intervention. At a time when staying healthy is at the top of everyone’s agenda, now is the time to take preventative steps to promote better mental and physical health.
Personal Development Exercise: Take a minute to look at the Map of Consciousness scale and ask yourself the following:
How are you feeling right now? Using the Map of Consciousness identify what energetic frequency are you experiencing.
What is causing this emotion. Where is this emotion coming from?
What is this emotion trying to tell you? Which direction is it guiding you towards? e.g. if you feel angry, what would make you feel less angry?
How does this emotion feel in your body? Acknowledge it, observe it, describe it, sit with it and honour it
Identify what you could you do to help move your energetic frequency up a level in the next 10mins to help provide some level of relief?
About Me: My Name is Nichola Pyrkos, I am a Transformational Life Coach & Mindfulness Facilitator, a Psychology and Social Work graduate, and my mission is to empower people to consciously create a life they can love, whilst developing the resilience needed to weather any storm. Follow me on Instagram @mindfullifecoachuk and head on over to my website to find out about the range of services I offer, including bespoke Life Coaching programmes tailor-made for individual clients to fast-track their learning, healing and personal growth. It only takes one decision to change your life...are you ready to transform yours?